Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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