Ambien. No doubt about it.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
