K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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