True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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