they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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