We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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