DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
