Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
