those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
