I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
