apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
porn star boner night. come get it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
