i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
