They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize
