A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
