sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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