I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
sex in a hospital.. check
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
