I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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