You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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