dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
What a dumb baby whore.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
