If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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