Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize