Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
