Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
