I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she smelled like a LAN party
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
