Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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