I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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