You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
accomplished twins. life is a go
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
