so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
