how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
