So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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