After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
