I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
