escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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