My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
