We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
