I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
