He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
