you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
