just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
