maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
