Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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