It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
