Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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