im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
