He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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