Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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