He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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