So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
