man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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