these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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