yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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