Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize