i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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