at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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