do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
