Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
