I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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