Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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