Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I didn't notice because vodka
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
