how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
