they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I want a musical about memes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
