I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
