I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize