your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
