Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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