I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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