But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This house was built for laser tag.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
