I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
